Dear Mr. Heene-

What the hell is wrong with you people? I've read somewhere they were mounting charges against you. I hope they charge you with being a moron. There are reports you did all this in hopes of getting a reality show. Here is an idea of a show you could do. We will call it "I'm a Dumb ass..now whats my penalty" and we can get a panel of celebrities to decide your punishment, for example pulling off a toe nail or a fingernail. How about my personal favorite, sticking a soldering iron into your dick hole.